Ephesians 4:26-29

It has been a challenging roller coaster week, emotionally and spiritually. Many weeks are like that. It is joyful to be gathered together here to sing, pray, reflect, laugh, and ask each other important questions. In churches around this country, at this very moment, there are preachers shouting a question at their congregations: “Are you saved??” But not here, not today–instead the question I ask you, ask myself, is this: Are you an anger ball?

The urban dictionary defines the phrase “anger ball” as someone who displays highly compact rage. The Bible has two words for anger: your righteous anger that grows up in opposition to wrongs being done: the word orge which originates from a verb related to the gradual swelling expansion of fruits as they grow, and  the word thumos  which is your anger ball, highly compact rage kind of anger. Thumos describes the extreme form of those times when we spout off, fly off the handle, send out the finger, lose our cool, get our panties in a wad, freak out, act like a grumpy old man or woman, when we see red, get mad as an old wet hen, or shoot off those regrettable social media posts. But these days being an anger ball seems to be lauded in the public sphere, ubiquitous on nearly every side of any question. George Will writes, in a Washington Post column, that “in the public discourse there is a new anger—fury as a fashion accessory, indignation as evidence of good character. . . anger that luxuriates in its own vehemence. Today many people preen about, wearing their anger as a badge of authenticity: I snarl, therefore, I am.”

It is evident that unremitting anger in the public sector and in relationships can cause great damage. And we know that it can hurt us individually and physically, too. Being an anger ball can cause heart attacks, high blood pressure, smashed plates, kicked dogs, abused children, and broken hearts. We know that physically speaking, when the body, mind, and spirit experience emotions as heightened and extreme, mixed with risk and fear, that the primitive limbic system of our brains kicks into high gear with the flight or fight response to threat, and when it is the fight response, evolutionarily, it was in response to immediate physical danger, a fight to the death. Over long periods of time, being an anger ball causes inflammation–literally in-flame-ation through the body.

Likewise, it seems that most world religions teach that anger is a negative spiritual force, one of seven deadly sins, or a base and out of control practice that can rule the heart. Jesus said, “If you are here to offer your gifts, your very self poured out on the altar of gratitude and service and goodness and peace, and you hold something against your brother or sister, then go first and reconcile yourself with them. The Ephesians passage for today counsels against letting time pass while holding anger inside–don’t let the sun go down on your seething. The Buddha said it is a burning coal in our own hands when we hold the anger.

But in light of the current world situation, and just in general, and about my own life in particular, I have continued to ponder the nuances of anger along the spiritual path. Spiritually, is anger ever good? Is it really a sin? Does anger accomplish anything physically, emotionally, or spiritually, or is it an evolutionary backslide away from the more sophisticated controls of the frontal lobes of our reasoning brains, a sign that we are not able practitioners of the spiritual way we have chosen?

I love metaphors—they help me think through spiritual issues that are nebulous to me, and hard to practice.  So, I pondered  the ways anger is both a curse and a gift.

I believe Anger is a curse in these ways:

1. Anger is a curse when it is masked. When anger is cloaked behind polite smiles, not acknowledged. When we believe nice girls don’t get angry, but disappointed, when we think that sophisticated men don’t express anger, when we lie and tell ourselves that we are not angry, when it is sublimated and turned inward on the self, when it becomes passive aggressive behind a smiling exterior. Anger is a curse when it is masked.
2. Anger is a curse when it is a chair. Because what happens when you sit down in a big ole comfy chair? Well, the older and older you get, and the longer and longer you sit here, the harder and harder it is to get up and move on. The seething resentment of years and years builds up, as we sit in the anger chair, stewing….stewing and pickling our own insides. Such anger curses us, curdling the divinity within. In the book of Jonah, God asks Jonah an important question: Do you have a reason to be angry? A good question to ask ourselves in life. And then Jonah says something so important, “Yes, angry enough to die.” Ummm….a serious statement, that. Are you angry enough to die? What would be a good enough reason to die from anger? To let someone you love die while you or he or she is angry? Anger is a curse when it is so comfortable that we are happiest when we are mad. Anger is a curse when it is a chair.
3. Anger is a curse when it is a speech writer. Many of us are not physically destructive with our anger, though some of us are. But we allow or cause emotional and/or spiritual injury with our words when we allow unremitting anger to short circuit reason, kindness, love, and our ability to choose a different response.
4. And anger is a curse when it is a foundation. We cannot build a lasting peace from a foundation of anger.

But, I also believe, depending upon how we use it, anger can be a gift, too. I thought about all the benefits of anger—that physically, we are enabled to fight or flee to save our lives.  In the Jesus stories and the stories of the other prophets, sometimes they got really angry and acted up when the Beloved One’s intentions were being violated and people were being hurt. We are called upon to understand our anger as initial energy for right wrongs. In the old Marvel comic strip, the Incredible Hulk and his alter ego, Bruce Banner, mild-mannered physicist by day, are the same person. Banner is physically transformed into the Hulk when subjected to emotional stress, and often his rage resulted in destructive rampages and conflicts that complicate the rest of Banner’s life. The Hulk’s level of strength is normally conveyed as proportionate to his level of anger. Anger can be a gift when it is, with the help of the brain’s frontal lobe, and with our own self-care–used for good.

1. Anger is a gift when it is a running shoe on a spiritual triathlete. Anger is part of the journey—not the whole thing—but it may help us run to the next leg of the exercise. It can energize, move you through, change the scenery (that sometimes needs to change), empower us to accomplish what is needed. The great prophets do not stand idly by while injustice happens. Sometimes they strap on the running sandals of anger and get moving to change some things.
2. Anger is a textbook. Experiencing anger, being honest about it, letting life teach us through it, observing and receiving the effects of how others’ handle their anger all teach us. The learning from anger often is not pleasant, and often, the lessons I need to learn most result in a change of heart. Anger is a gift when we learn.
3. Anger is a tool. It’s not the only tool. There are others. Rakes are great for farming and yard work, but they don’t work that effectively for every job. We also need keys, wings, hugs, influence, perspective, and a sense of humor to help us do life’s work. Anger is only one tool.

Because perseverance is such a challenge some days, perhaps anger serves well as a momentary source of quick energy but it is sort of like eating an hors d’oeuvre (a word that literally means “Outside the work”) Anger is that–it’s outside the central work of life—sometimes it’s just a little starter, and then something more substantial, nourishing (and hopefully plant-based) must be consumed and shared in order to make life’s work move forward.  I believe there are some times when it is good and right to be angry. I believe we need to be sometimes, righteously indignant, like Jesus when people were wrong-headed and hard hearted; angry and gathering the energy to change things that ought to be changed. Thich Nhat Hanh reminds us that mindfulness, breathing, meditation, prayer, being present and aware of anger, not denying it or masking it or acting from it, but mindfulness “is like cooking potatoes. You cover the pot and then the water will begin to boil. You must keep the stove on for at least twenty minutes for the potatoes to cook. Your anger is a kind of potato and mindfulness is like the fire cooking the potatoes of anger. The first few minutes of recognizing and embracing your anger with tenderness can bring healthy results.”

So I’ve begun to try to improve the balance of my spirit practice by increasing my awareness of my own level of stress and anger, and trying to remember to breathe. In our culture in which anger is expected and fashionable, it is challenging to give up being an anger ball for the sake of the world. …maybe anger can energize us to speak justice, to act righteously and to intervene for others who suffer,  and then get up and move on to the next right thing, centered in the love that builds bridges. Do we experience our anger as a curse or as a gift? How will we open it? How will we use it?