A fond memory I have of my young adulthood was when I got my first job. For the first time I could give my family and friends a Christmas gift I’d paid for with my own money. It felt empowering to give when I was so accustomed to receiving. As I got older, I began to understand it on a soul level: gift-giving is a privilege.
Remembering those first gifts I offered to others sent me pondering about the whys and hows of gift-giving in general. How do you or I decide to whom we will offer a gift, assuming that we are able to utilize some of our means for that purpose?
Sometimes we might offer gifts to reciprocate or out of obligation. Often gift-giving is practiced in an effort to prevent disappointment, assuage guilt, or fill in gaps in relationships. The joy of watching children give and receive gifts can be enchanting; but for some children, the gift received seems often to fall short of the gift longed for.
Giving a gift may be offered for simple reasons—for the joy of the generous gesture or to witness the receiver’s joyful reaction, a way to say thank you or to demonstrate love. Often gifts are given with the hope that they will help to make a dark and painful reality better somehow. In this season, it seems important to me not to dismiss giving and receiving as a greedy materialistic practice, but to reflect upon the gift beneath the gift.
Giving and receiving gifts causes alterations in our realities. A gift can help stop climate change. A certain North Carolina church I know just entered a float in the town Christmas parade that featured a manger with a solar panel on top—the Light shines in the darkness. We at UCG are going to plant a couple thousand trees soon because we intend to be a carbon-neutral congregation. A book, an organ donation, a delicious treat, a pledge or bequest, a toy, a table of plenty, a pair of shoes, a welcoming shore, barter gifts of work, art, music, healing touch—all may serve in large or small ways to sustain and enhance life. Our simple gifts (as well as the large and/or expensive ones) can create new realities, inside and outside.
And so, may it be that we are gracious in receiving and generous in giving. And as we await the gifts of winter solstice and the celebrations of the new Light’s dawning, may we be re-created, or, as it were, re-gifted.